Bridges
by Astro Gobo
Summary: Something I started a while back that tells the story between seasons 2 and 3 of Rebels. It might divert from canon a bit at the end. Mainly Kanera, some Ezrabine/Sabezra. First person, present tense. First chapter's from Hera's POV, second chapter's from Sabine's POV, third's from Kanan's POV, the fourth will be from Ezra's, then it repeats.
1. Chapter 1

I'm so worried. Kanan, Ezra, and Ahsoka are about to go off on their mission to defeat the Inquisitors. I know why they have to, but I still get the feeling that everything will change for the worse. "Hera?" I hear a light voice from behind me. Ahsoka.  
I turn, trying to wipe the worry off of my face. "Yes?" I ask.  
"I know how you feel," she says. "About us going off." I raise an eyebrow. "You're worried," she continues, "About Kanan." I can tell my eyes soften at the sound of his name, and I see a flicker of a smile in her eyes. "I once felt the same way," she says. Wait, what? That was.. unexpected. I'm about to ask her what she means, when she says, "You should go talk to him. He might help ease your mind."  
I feel tears well up in my eyes. Maybe not, I think. I blink my tears away, and say, "I will." She smiles.

I'm about to go up and talk to him, but he's admiring Sabine's fence. I start walking away as I hear him compliment her on the design. I walk faster, thinking. I hear footsteps coming up behind me. "Hera," the deep voice says.  
I try to keep my voice level as I turn, saying, "I told the commander the site is secure, and operations can resume."  
"We're going to be okay. You know that, right?" he continues, as if I had said nothing.  
"You realize I know when you're lying, right?" His face falls slightly, then he looks back up at me, and looks me in the eye with an even more determined look on his face. I sigh. "Whatever you're facing, I wanted us to face it together," I say, my voice quivering.  
He steps closer, and holds my shoulders in his hands. "We'll see each other again. I promise," he says, and pulls me into a hug. I hesitate, then close my eyes and rest my head on his shoulder. I feel his beard brush against my cheek as he dips his head down. I tilt my head up and kiss his jaw, right where the beard starts growing. I purposefully slide my mouth up, so my upper lip catches the corner of his mouth. Then I pull away, and rest my head on his shoulder again. We stay like this for a second, never wanting the moment to end.

But then it does. I hear Ezra calling in the distance, and Kanan has to leave. "Come back to me safely," I whisper, not sure if he heard. I watch him walk away, and feel the familiar ache of worry settle in again.

We receive a five-word message. "Coming back. Need a medic." We are all terrified to find out what had happened, and yet want nothing more in the world than to know. The Phantom soared over the base, and landed inexpertly in the landing field. And I knew something was wrong.  
I stare with wide eyes, the others around me, as the door to the Phantom opened. No. NO. How could this happen?  
They had left with three Jedi. Two stepped out of the ship. They had left confidently, each walking fine on their own. Now, one has to support the other as they limped towards the crew. Kanan left with his eyes a bright blue-green. He returned with bandages wrapping his eyes, concealing the burnt chasm that was all that remained.  
I walk forward, almost in a daze. It's amazing I don't trip. I put my hands on his face, gently run my hands over the bandage. Neither of us have to say a word. I wrap my arms around him, pull him closer. I want so badly to finish what we started when he left. But I don't. For now, just holding him is enough.  
Ezra looks lost, as he and Rex exchange pained glances. Ezra still holds onto his master's sleeve, guiding himself as much as he is guiding Kanan. How could Ahsoka be gone? I think. We all think that. Our resident Jedi, or the most-trained one anyway, just.. gone?

We reach the medical bay, and I guide Kanan to sit on one of the beds. Ezra follows behind us, and sits on a different bed. For whatever reason, the medical droid starts working on Ezra first. I kneel on the floor so I'm at the same level I would be if we were standing, and look up at Kanan. If his ragged breaths are anything to go by, he's in pain. I almost smack my forehead in frustration. Of course. He just had his eyes melted out of his head. Why wouldn't he be in pain? "Kanan?" I say tentatively, rubbing his hand with my thumb.  
"Mm hm?" He sounds strained.  
"I'm going to change the bandages, okay?" The ones he has are getting filthy, from whatever him and Ezra did on the planet plus the trip in the Phantom, I guess.  
"Mm hm," he says.  
"It's probably going to hurt more," I say carefully.  
He nods. "S'fine."

I reach up, carefully grab the end of the fabric, and start unwrapping. If you only listened to him, you would think he was in no pain. But one only had to look at his face to know otherwise. It contorted into a grimace every time I removed a bandage. I remove the last bandage, and see the full extent of his injury.  
The flesh around his eyes is burnt, almost looking like it has melted. Between his eyes, a small chunk of flesh is missing, right where his nose would begin normally. His eyelids are burnt as well, but I can't see his actual eyes yet. "Kanan, can you open your eyes for a second?" I ask softly. He does, and I have to hold in a gasp. Their sharp blue-green color has faded to a dull green-gray. The whites of his eyes have also turned into a grey. "Oh, Kanan," I whisper, now feeling his pain. I wrap my arms around him, and feel the tears, the unshed tears I've kept in since they left for Malachor, start to bubble up.

"S'okay," he mumbles, and I feel his hand against my back, pulling me closer. I bury my face in his shoulder, and finally let out all the pain and sadness and worry that's been pent up inside me for days. I sob into his shoulder, mumbling nonsense about what's been bothering me, when of course his problems are worse than mine, and he should be the one telling me them. He strokes my back as I wear myself out, tracing patterns through my shirt as I cry. I feel myself calming down, and finally, I can string together coherent sentences again.  
I pull away and wipe at my eyes, saying, "The medical droid is probably going to want to clean that up." I don't need to clarify. We both know what I'm talking about. "The antibacterial will hurt a lot more," I continue.  
He nods. "I can handle it," he says.  
"I can stay with you. If you want."  
"Please."

I take his hand in mine again, and rub onto his hand the same patterns he traced on my back. A tiny smile is on his face the next time I look at it.  
The medical droid finally finishes with Ezra. He starts walking out the door, then hesitates and looks at Kanan, as if he's about to say something. They he turns away, and walks into the hallway. The droid takes out the antiseptic, and starts applying it to the skin around Kanan's eyes. He winces, and grips my hand tighter. The process continues. Whenever a particularly large amount of antiseptic is applied, Kanan squeezes my hand, then loosens his grip slightly. In return, I reach across his shoulders and rub them with my other hand. Finally, the droid finishes, and starts putting on the new bandages. A less painful process, but it was still punctuated by winces from Kanan.

He stands, slowly, and feels uncertainly with his hand through the air in front of him. I guide his hand to my arm, and lead him out of the room. "Where are we going?" I ask.  
"Mess hall," he replies. "Getting blinded makes you hungry, let me tell you." I cringe at the joke. But, if he can make quips about his injury, I should be able to accept it. Should be.  
I lead him to the mess hall, as he requested. I walk slowly, making sure he doesn't trip or run into anything. Finally, we reach the hall, and I guide him to a seat near the rest of the crew. Ezra glances at Kanan, and a flicker of guilt spread across his face before he looks away.  
Rex was sitting off to the side, staring off at something no one else could see. Everyone else in the hall purposefully avoided looking at him for too long. As they did to Kanan, as well. "I'll.. get you something to eat," I say. I don't know how he'll eat it, but I get up and take a bowl of food from the counter in the corner of the room.

When I come back, he's saying something quietly to Sabine, tilting his face so Ezra can't see. Ezra glances at Kanan again when he thinks I'm not looking, then gets up and leaves the room. Sabine follows him with her eyes, then says something to Kanan and gets up. I take the spot she just left, and put the food in front of Kanan. As I guide his hand to the bowl, I ask, "What did you tell her?"  
"To talk to Ezra. I can sense his guilt. He'll listen to Sabine more than he'll listen to me. If I talked to him, he'd just be staring at my eyes the whole time."  
"So what's she saying to him?" I realize it's hopeless for him to try to eat on his own, and pick up the spoon myself.  
"She's saying," he said, pausing to eat the bite on the spoon, "it's not his fault. None of it is. He's blaming himself for what happened, when all that will do is push him away from the crew."  
I nod, then remember he can't see me. "Yeah," I say quietly, watching Sabine as she leaves.


	2. Chapter 2

"Ezra?" I say, walking up behind him. I've followed him from the mess hall back to the Ghost. He stands facing away from me, about to enter his and Zeb's room.

"Yeah?" His voice sounds strained.

"What's wrong? What's troubling you?"

He sighs. "Everything." I raise my eyebrow. "What happened on Malachor."

"It's not your fault."

"How do you know? You weren't there!"

I look at him sadly. "You sound like Kanan. When he told you about Order 66."

He freezes, and I know he's remembering the outburst Kanan made when he asked him why he didn't trust the clones. "You weren't there! You weren't even born!" Kanan's voice, dulled down from travelling through the walls of the Phantom, echoes through my head as I remember.

I shake my head. "I know because Kanan told me."

"How does he know what happened? He was blind for half of it!" I'm shocked. How could he say that? This is specifically what he's guilty about, and he's using it as an argument? Then he looks away, and more guilt flashed across his face, as he says, "I shouldn't have said that. I mean, I didn't mean that."

I nod. "I know you didn't. Besides, he didn't just tell me." He raises his eyebrow at me. "He gave me his memories of it."

His eyes widen, and it he seems horrified. "Why did he do that? He knows how awful it was. Why.." He seems at a loss for words.

"I asked him to," I say. He looks up, startled out of his stupor. Whatever he was expecting, what I said wasn't it. "You know, I can handle horrible things," I begin. "I've been through a hell of a lot of worse things than you have." He opens his mouth, about to say something, when I cut him off. "I had to watch my village, my family, my pride, burn, at the hands of the people I trusted with my life. I had to kill, mercilessly, just to stay alive from day to day. I had a friend leave me for dead, just because she didn't want to pay my cut. And you? You've had your parents killed. You've had your mentors either killed or blinded. That's it."

"There's a difference. What you went through wasn't your fault. You're not the one who brought about the death and destruction."

"You aren't either. Maul would have blinded Kanan, probably killed him, long before he actually did, if you hadn't cooperated. If anything, he would have just left you all to die at the hands of the Inquisitors. Even if you killed them, Vader would have come and killed you and Kanan along with Ahsoka."

"But it's my fault that Maul got off Malachor, my fault that he-"

"No!" I'm getting tired of explaining this to him. "Maul would have gotten off anyway, either in the Inquisitors' ships or in your own. None of that is your fault." I stare him in the eye for a few seconds, waiting for the snarky reply that he would have. But it never comes. He just stands there, staring back at me, until he looks away.

I start to turn away as well. "Do you really believe that?" The question comes in a whisper, so I can barely hear it.

I turn back to him, and say, "What do you think?" I turn and walk back to the mess hall without waiting for an answer.

"Well? How'd it go?" Hera asks before I've even sat down.

I sit down, and look up at her and Kanan. He's hunched over, trying to eat a bite of food by himself. At first glance, he doesn't seem to be listening, but I know he is. I turn to Hera, who every few seconds is redirecting Kanan's hand. "Pretty well," I say, trying to sound optimistic. "I don't think he blames himself as much as he did before.."

"That's good, at least."

It doesn't look quite right, I think as I add another streak of paint. There we go.. I hear the door open behind me. I sigh and turn away from my artwork, expecting to see Hera and Kanan requesting that I speak to Ezra again. Instead, Ezra himself stands there. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Yeah, sure."

He comes and and sits on my bunk, while I stand near the wall, careful not to lean on the fresh paint. He looks over my shoulder, and spots the artwork. "What is.." he starts, then breaks off as I step aside so he can see the whole thing.

It's a painting I made of Kanan, but instead of having his eyes concealed by bandages, he's wearing a mask that reaches halfway down his face. To the side I have a few different enlarged versions of the mask, with different patterns on it. "I was trying to figure out which would look best," I say. Ezra looks at me, confused. "Kanan told me he would rather have the scar covered up even after they take the bandages off than have a constant reminder of Malachor etched on his face. I thought of this. I already have the beginnings of the mask made, I just wanted to get the design down."

"It's not colorful," he says, surprised.

"Yeah, well, I don't think Kanan would want it colorful."

"Those designs are really nice," he says.

"Not all of them are my idea. These two both took some elements from Ahsoka's armor, and this one, I got the idea for it from those marks on Rex's helmet," I say, pointing to some of the masks.

"I like that one the best," he says, pointing to the one with the design from Rex.

"Yeah, I was liking that one the best too. Good to have a second opinion, though."

He nods. "Can I see what you've made of the mask?"

"Yeah, sure." I walk over to my bunk and open one of the small drawers underneath. It's only occupant is the metal framing of the mask. "I'm planning to cover the gaps in the same type of metal, and pad the inside of it so it doesn't hurt. I'm keeping it hollow, so it's not insanely heavy," I say, as I hand the mask to Ezra.

"What face did you mold this to?"

"Well.. I had taken a holopic of Kanan a few months ago.. So I kinda based it off of that."

"Have you tried it on an actual person?"

"Uh.. no."

He thinks for a bit, then says, "You should sneak into Kanan's room while he's sleeping and try it on him."

I raise my eyebrow. "How am I supposed to get into a locked room of a light sleeper in the middle of the night? And try putting this on his face? Without waking him or anyone else up."

He grins. "Just kidding."

I shake my head at him. "So, what should I actually do to make sure it fits Kanan?"

He shrugs. "How am I supposed to know, I'm not the one making it."

I roll my eyes. "What am I going to do with you?"

"I don't know. Maybe you'll team up with Chopper and Zeb to get back at me," he says, grinning.

"Zeb, on the same team as Chopper? Not likely. Why do you never give me real suggestions?"

"I just did. With the mask."

I give him a look, which he correctly interprets to mean, "Get out of my room before you get pumped full of blaster bolts."

It's only after he leaves and the door slides shut behind him that I realize that for a second, I had the old Ezra, the Ezra I used to hate, back.

And I was happy.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N I am so sorry about the malfunction with the document that happened with the first two chapters, I will try my best to make sure it doesn't happen again!**

* * *

I wake with a start. For a second, I think I'm still asleep. Then, I realize: I'm awake, I just haven't turned the lights on. I reach for the light controls, and flip the switch. Still dark. I'm confused. Then, my eyes twinge, and I remember. I'm blind. I rub at the bandages, trying to dispel the dull pain I still feel. "Don't do that, love," I hear a voice say. Hera. "The medical droids said to not touch the bandages, except for changing them, for a few days." I nod, dropping my hand to my lap and turning to the direction her voice is coming from. I can't help but wonder how long she's been there.

"What time is it?"

"It's around 0900. We let you sleep in." I just know she's smirking at her remark. I only wish I could see it. I feel her pick my hand up and squeeze it. "Does it hurt?" I don't need to ask what "it" is.

"A bit," I admit. "Not a lot though."

"How are you?" she asks.

How do I answer that truthfully? Normally, I would act like I'm thinking, twist my face into an exaggerated expression. But these kriffing bandages are stopping me. And I wouldn't be able to see her response.. I hate this. I hate this so much. All of this. Being blind. Having to depend on other people just so I don't crash into a wall or trip.

Hera's simple question has started me thinking of the future. What I will miss because of two seconds of letting my guard down. It all hits me like a solid punch in the gut. I will never see Ezra grow tall, I will never see him knighted. I will never see Sabine grow into her full potential. I will never see Zeb argue with Chopper again. And I will never see the most beautiful Twi'lek in the galaxy again. Ever. That one may be the hardest. I will never see her build the rebellion she's worked so hard for. I will never see her smile after a successful mission. I will never see her.

"Kanan? You in there?" I hear Hera ask, and I almost wince, because I know, just know, that she just waved her hand in front of my face, but I didn't see it, couldn't see it, because I will never see her again, and suddenly the pain is unbearable. And yet, it's familiar. I feel her flinch, because she knows it's useless waving her hand, and her muscles acted by themselves, because of course they didn't know something's changed, but everything has changed, and nothing will ever be the same as it was.

And now I know why the pain is familiar, because I'm remembering the pain when I lost my master, and it was almost exactly like this. And it happened like this too. Someone who I had trusted turned on me and took away something that defined my whole life. But of course trusting the clones hadn't been my fault, there was no other option, because we were in a war, and the clones were the soldiers that answered to us. But trusting Maul for those two seconds, that had been my fault. It would have been so easy, to just keep my blade up. Or to raise it as he turned. Or to have just killed him while he was facing the Inquisitors. So easy..

And now I remember Ezra who thinks it's his fault, even though it's not, and I wonder if I'm being the same way. But no, it _is_ my fault, I'm the one who trusted him.. _But Ezra thinks it's his fault because he trusted Maul first._. I shake my head, pull myself out of my trance. I can't dwell on that today. I have to let go of the pain. Just like I did last time.

I breath out. "Yeah, I'm here," I say, trying a grin.

She lets out a faint chuckle, before saying, "Are you okay?" And just like before, I know she's looking at me like she's worried.

"As okay as I can be, given the situation," I answer, gesturing at my face and the bandages that cover my eyes.

 _She's looking sad._ Before I can think of something else to say, she says quietly, "How are you able to joke about this?"

Was not expecting that. "I.. I'm coping the way I know best. The way I've used before," I say. Yep, that's probably the closest to the truth I can express in words. _She's still looking sad. But it's.. different. A different reason._ And I know she's sad because she's remembering what I've been through in the past. _She's biting her lip. She's deciding whether to say something or not._ Apparently, she decides against it, as she stands up and asks, "Do you want to get up now?"

"Yeah, sure," I say, swinging my legs over the side of the bunk. She pulls me up, placing my hand on her shoulder to help me balance. With my other hand, I feel the air, trying to find the door. She grabs the reaching hand and places it back near my waist, while walking forward and pulling me along with her through the opening.

"Mess hall?" she asks when we get outside the Ghost.

"No.. I'm not hungry," I respond. _She's worried.._ "I need to start practicing Force-sight." _She's confused.._ "How to see through the Force instead of your eyes," I explain. "I've been using it already, a little, but it's not accurate, and I need to practice so it can get more accurate."

 _She's nodding.._ "Is there.. anywhere specific you want to go that might help?"

"No.. Just anywhere with few people, like that open area by the fence."

"Ok. I'll help you there, then."

"Wouldn't you have Rebellion business to do right about now? Normally?"

"We.. we're all taking a break to calculate our losses.. Figure out our next move."

I nod. Her unspoken words are hanging in the air: _Our next move now that two of our best assets are either dead or incapacitated._ Because that's all I am now, an asset that was incapacitated. A drain on resources. But I have to be more than that. I have to become useful again. Because I know Sato's been skeptical of Ezra and I's usefulness in the past, and the last thing we need is for him to think we're unnecessary. For all we know, he might not let us stay or assign us to missions doomed to fail. And that can't happen.


End file.
